Too much thinking.

It's going on 9 o'clock.
I haven't touched my monologue in the past 2 hours.
And the last time I touched it was also the first time.
I know one line, I don't think I'm auditioning.

This arises some worry.
My freshman year, entering high school I knew exactly what I wanted to be.
I was going to be an actress.
Time went on and I began to change, I realized soon that it wasn't what I wanted and that hurt me in a way I guess. It was the one thing I was always sure of.
Over the past 3 years my interests have changed, along with potential occupations.
Here I am though, almost done my Junior year and more than unsure.
What is my passion? What is it that God has in store for me?
I'd really like to know.
In full honesty, my heart breaks a little because I'm not going to do this play.
Is it because I'm not putting myself out there?
Is it because I don't think I'm going to have any time?
Or is it really because it's not something I want to do?

I'm really interested in interior design and i really like photography.
Anything in the art category would make me very happy.
Will I ever find something I'm good at?

I need a job.
I'm going to call Perkins in the next few days once I work up the courage to ask for my job back.
I need money bad. $$$$
I have all these wants and needs and they can't seem to be fulfilled without money.
Well, some of them.

I'm in a strange mood.
I've been listening to this stupid song on repeat for the past 3 hours.
I'm jealous of your pictures with your best friend.
I miss you but you overwhelm me sometimes.
I can't wait to see you.
I can't wait to see you either.
I wish my phone would go off right this second with something comforting.
I'm feeling very needy.
I want to go to college.
I want to lay under the sun with you in the chair next to me.
Bathing suits are scary.
I turn seventeen in almost seventeen days.
I'm thirsty. I think my head hurts.

Jesus Christ by Brand New